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Post by Nightsky on Mar 17, 2008 23:15:21 GMT -5
Wondeful story! Please continue soon!
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Post by Sunrise on Mar 24, 2008 9:45:31 GMT -5
Wow! I hate Ashfur but this is a great story and I can't wait to read the next chapter and find out what is going to happen between Brmableclaw and Brindlekit!
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Post by Shattereddream on May 15, 2008 15:35:41 GMT -5
At long last...
CHAPTER 8 Brindlekit bounded excitedly out into the clearing, anxious to finally become an apprentice. Squirrelflight hurried out after her, attempting unsuccessfully to groom her kit's ruffled fur.Ashfur followed much more slowly, his eyes clouded with worry. "What's wrong with you?" Squirrelflight murmured, giving up on cleaning Brindlekit's pelt. Ashfur shrugged. "Nothing really..." he muttered. Squirrelflight looked at him, her green eyes full of concern. She opened her mouth to say something else, but was cut off by Firestar's yowl as he began the ceremony. "Brindlekit," he said clearly, his voice echoing through the camp. The eager she-kit was already at the front of the crowd, looking up at Firestar proudly. "You have reached the age of six moons old and it is time for you to become an apprentice. From this day forward, you shall be known as Brindlepaw. Your mentor shall be..." The tom stopped and scanned the crowd, his gaze resting on one cat. "Brambleclaw." The tabby warrior looked around in confusion, then slowly made his way up to Brindlepaw. He bowed his head to touch noses with his new apprentice, but she just stared up at him with her wide green eyes. "Go on," Squirrelflight urged, glancing at Brambleclaw for a heartbeat. Brindlepaw stumbled forward and reached up to touch her tiny pink nose to Brambleclaw's. She quickly shrank back, staring at the ground. Ashfur took no notice of Brindlepaw or her new mentor. His eyes were fixed on Squirrelflight. He stared at her in confusion. Had that been affection he noticed in her eyes when she looked at Brambleclaw? Squirrelflight led her daughter back to Ashfur, glancing back over her shoulder once at Brambleclaw. Ashfur felt a quiet growl rise in his throat, but he quickly swallowed it. "He is the last cat I would have expected you to recommend for Brindlepaw," Squirrelflight murmured as she sat down next to him. Brindlepaw stood in front of them, swelling with pride as her Clanmates chanted her new name. "C'mon Brindlepaw!" Whitepaw meowed. "Let's get you settled in the apprentices' den!" Brindlepaw raced over to her new denmate, all shock forgotten. Brambleclaw watched them with an unreadable expression on his face. Squirrelflight sighed and Ashfur realized she was looking at Brambleclaw again. "I'm going hunting," the gray tom muttered, padding away. His mate nodded absently, turning and heading for the fresh-kill pile. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Bluestar looked down at Ashfur as he padded miserably out into the forest, Brambleclaw as he paced in confusion, Squirrelflight as she snuck admiring glances at the tabby tom, and Brindlepaw as she lay in her new nest, thinking about her new mentor and laughed. "Perfect," she purred. "My plan is slowly unfolding!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Well this is getting very interesting and much more complicated than I had expected. Somewhat evil Bluestar, jealous Brambleclaw, torn Squirrelflight, miserable Ashfur, and poor Brindlepaw. Wow.
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Post by Waterfall on May 15, 2008 17:55:00 GMT -5
Interesting chapter! I loved it! Update sooner this time please!
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Post by Shattereddream on Jun 14, 2008 0:57:28 GMT -5
Not been on much lately but...
CHAPTER 9 Ashfur woke up the next morning to find Squirrelflight's nest empty. Everyone else, he noticed, was still sleeping. Everyone but Brambleclaw, that is. Ashfur hissed quietly and padded out into the clearing. The sun had not yet risen above the horizon and the entire camp was still dark, making it hard for the tom to see some of the more remote corners of the camp. Ashfur squinted and noticed the ginger tip of someone's tail swaying in the shadows not far off. He silently stalked over to the tail. staying out of sight. He recognized Squirrelflight's and Brmableclaw's voices, but had to inch closer in order to make out their words. "I miss the way things used to be between us," Brambleclaw murmured. "You know, the way it was on the journey to sundrown place." "I know," Squirrelflight whispered. "Me too." Brambleclaw purred in reply and Ashfur gritted his teeth, digging his claws into the ground. The gray tom peered cautiously around the corner and watched as Brmableclaw stepped closer to Squirrelflight, then brushed muzzles with her! Squirrelflight purred and gently licked one of the tabby tom's ears. She whispered something too quiet for Ashfur to hear, her green eyes glowing with joy and affection. Brambleclaw stared at her in shock for a moment. "But you and Ashfur..." he murmured. Squirrelflight touched his muzzle with the tip of her tail. "No one has to know," the ginger she-cat whispered mischieviously. Brambleclaw smiled and pressed himself to her side. Ashfur souldn't take it anymore. "Too late!" he growled, stepping out of his hiding place. "I know!" Brambleclaw turned to face the gray tom and opened his mouth to say something. The tabby tom suddenly gasped and lowered his head. Ashfur and Squirrelflight both stared at him, puzzled. When Brambleclaw looked up again, his eyes were all white. He snarled and started toward Ashfur. "Um... Brambleclaw?" the gray tom mewed, his voice coming out high-pitched. "You alright?" Squirrelflight was slowly backing away, her green eyes wide in genuine terror. "No," she whispered. "Oh no, oh no, oh no!" The second part of her nightmare was coming true. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Bluestar cackled wildly as she took complete control over Brambleclaw. She lashed out at the gray tom, sending him flying into the stone wall behind him. Ashfur went unconscious and lay there in a crumpled heap on the ground. Bluestar moved in for the kill, but felt a sudden resistance. "I will not kill out of cold blood," Brambleclaw's voice seemed to echo all around her. "I will not be like my father!" With a roar of determination, Brambleclaw took back his body. Bluestar blinked and found herself back ing StarClan. She growled and sat down, glaring sulkily down at Brambleclaw. "Stupid cat..." she muttered. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Squirrelflight looked at Brambleclaw, who was staring at AShfur in horror. "Squirrelflight..." the tom murmured. "I swear, I don't know what was going on!" He turned to her with pleading eyes, silently willing the she-cat not to blame him for any of this and leave him for good. "It's not your fault," she breathed at last. Brambleclaw sighed in relief, then realized that if they didn't move Ashfur quickly,he would be in serious trouble. "Help me get him to Leafpool," the tom mewed, grabbing Ashfur by the scruff on the back of his neck.. Squirrelflight obliged and they both headed toward the medecine cat den, Ashfur dangling limply bewteen then.
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Post by Waterfall on Jun 15, 2008 18:04:13 GMT -5
Great chapter! Creepy, evil Bluestar! Poor Brambleclaw he didn't even try to hurt Ashfur! I also feel bad for Ashfur though, that he had to see Brambleclaw and Squirrelflight together, even though I don't really appreciate him and Squirrelflight together. I mean he is a nice cat, but Brambleclaw is better for Squirrelflight.
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[[_ moon/beam
s33wper m33wderator
ī Graeca nur zētaum las Mērchaithun les Plesnown
A HEART MADE FULLMETAL
Posts: 2,434
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Post by [[_ moon/beam on Jul 15, 2008 10:18:14 GMT -5
Hurray for Ashfur! <33
I love your story so far Shattered.
And his mother was Brindleface not Brindleheart. =]
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Post by Shattereddream on Jul 21, 2008 17:49:48 GMT -5
D'oh! It would appear that I have some editing to do then...
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